Why is Pastor Rossow such a Mean-poopie?

BJS_TimRossowThis post is meant to be fun, but it also makes a serious point.

In the course of writing for and serving as Associate Editor here at BJS I have found that lots of folks take issue with our Editor, Pastor Timothy Rossow for a number of things.  Some folks think he is just downright mean.  Others have ascribed to him the work of the devil.  Over the years at BJS he has even received death threats.

Well, after four years of knowing and working with him I am not sure that is an accurate picture of the cat-loving ecclesiastical critic. But in order to try and understand this mean-poopie phenomenon, I and the regular crew of BJS Authors have come up with a list of reasons why he may be perceived as mean. Here they are in no particular order: (Some of these have been submitted by Pr. Rossow himself.)

Pastor Rossow is a Mean-poopie because:

  • Happy Bob his cat, took all of the happy
  • He has gall stones, like Luther
  • He is an Iowa fan
  • He perceives a need to counter-balance the charm of President Harrison
  • He uses the historic liturgy
  • He loves doctrine over and above loving people
  • He prefers margaritas over beer
  • He is not as hip as his associate pastor
  • Unlike his hip associate pastor he wears briefs, not boxer shorts and wears them too tight
  • Tullian Tchividjian will not return his calls (and also wears boxer shorts)
  • Matt Richard also will not return his calls
  • He failed winsomeness classes at the St. Louis seminary
  • He can’t get an intern from Concordia University Chicago
  • He has only one kind of righteousness
  • He watched too many episodes of Dallas and actually likes J.R.
  • He took a Life Skills seminar from Bobby Knight
  • He was cured of passive-aggressive personality disorder and now is just aggressive
  • Iowans never learned Minnesota nice
  • John 8:44 was his confirmation verse
  • Psalm 137:1-9 was chanted at his ordination, by the congregation
  • He thought bacon could fix everything, so he tried it with lutefisk
  • He watched the new “Son of God” movie
  • He is actually under the tyrannical control of Happy Bob, who looks cute in the picture, but is actually a harsh taskmaster
  • He was dropped on his head as a child
  • He wears a tab collar
  • He is a Fort Wayne wanna-be and is overcompensating with mean-poopieness

Seriously, Pr. Rossow takes the confession of the truth as a matter of utmost importance.  This seriousness comes out in a lot of ways, some of which are labelled as mean.  As a sinner he sins and can even be mean at times.  He has in his own past dabbled in methods and theologies which he now speaks against with zeal.  This is because he has seen what these false teachings and practices do to people.  Souls are harmed when error is promoted or even tolerated.  People get confused when the practices don’t line up with the beliefs.  Confusion brings doubt, the very enemy of faith.  And in the end, all of this is about the Gospel – that people would hear about and have preached to them the real, true Jesus whom we Lutherans worship.

For those of you who know Pastor Rossow and even those who don’t, feel free to add your own reasons in the comments below.

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