“Green Bean Casserole” (Tune: “Old Time Rock and Roll”; by Pr. Charles Henrickson)

BJS reader Dutch has requested a parody on potlucks. So, here ya go! The latest from the wag tailoring the doggerel . . .

GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE
Tune: “Old Time Rock and Roll”

Just put those old roasters in a line
It’s time for potluck and the pleasure’s mine
Today’s menus can’t fill the old hole
I like that green bean casserole

Don’t try to make me eat your tofu
You’ll sooner get to see me eatin’ dog food
I’ll start headin’ for the church basement door
I like that green bean casserole

Still like that green bean casserole
That kind of eatin’ just soothes the soul
I wanna know what’s on my plate and bowl
Like that green bean casserole

Don’t want shiitake or a mango
I’d rather eat some foods whose names I know
There’s only one sure way to get me to go
Start servin’ green bean casserole

Call me Midwestern, call my palate poor
Say I’m a Luth’ran, say I’m no connoisseur
Today’s menus can’t fill the old hole
I like that green bean casserole

Still like that green bean casserole
That kind of eatin’ just soothes the soul
I wanna know what’s on my plate and bowl
Like that green bean casserole . . .


Comments

“Green Bean Casserole” (Tune: “Old Time Rock and Roll”; by Pr. Charles Henrickson) — 20 Comments

  1. Ha! Ha! Joke’s on you…shiitake’s a type of mushroom. Especially delicious with green beans. One thing’s for sure: Nobody can say that Lutherans are a-morel.

  2. Thank you, thank you Pastor H thank you!!!!!!
    This was hysterical!!! You truly are a master of parody!!!
    Blessings,
    Dutch

  3. First, who brings shiitake to a potluck? (Or, rather, at $64/lb., who can afford to bring shiitake to a potluck?)
    Second, I like shiitake, especially marinated in Italian dressing and grilled like a steak over charcoal (no gas, no electric coils). This works even better with portobello. But that’s certainly not a potluck dish.
    Third, good job, sir. Good job.

  4. Excellent Charlie! Although I must say there are plenty of foods at potlucks that I didn’t recognize.

    My favoritr all time potluck memory was at a pastor’s installation. They spelled out his name in Jello. R_ _, if you are readind this, I know you remember.

    TR

  5. Perry,
    I’m not to partial to jello either at a potluck. It does at times, serve a purpose though…
    how else can a human being suspend articles of food in seemingly, yet coloured mid air?

  6. Dutch :
    Perry,
    I’m not to partial to jello either at a potluck. It does at times, serve a purpose though…
    how else can a human being suspend articles of food in seemingly, yet coloured mid air?

    Indeed how else do Lutherans get their daily allowance of the fruit food group in their daily sustenance? 🙂

  7. Perry,
    That’s how Green Bean Casserole came into being. Someone asked themselves, how can I get my family to eat their green beans? I know, I’ll throw some Cream of Mushroom soup (toxic to small childern, just ask one) & soy sauce, w/em. And then surveyed the outcome. No, they’ll never eat that, what do I have in the pantry? Hmmm…I know! I’ll throw some of those over-fried onions on top, & hide it all. Eureka! And thus….the Green Bean Casserole was born.

  8. What makes something funny is an element of truth. Can’t you just see some praise band singing this during the distribution?

  9. Dutch :
    That’s how Green Bean Casserole came into being. Someone asked themselves, how can I get my family to eat their green beans? I know, I’ll throw some Cream of Mushroom soup (toxic to small childern, just ask one)…

    And here I thought you added the Cream of Mushroom to make it “gourmet” green beans.

    Then again, what do I know? I’m a single guy whose freezer is full of processed food from Schwan’s.

  10. “Don’t try to make me eat your tofu
    You’ll sooner get to see me eatin’ dog food
    I’ll start headin’ for the church basement door
    I like that green bean casserole”

    I know some vegans, and that verse stuck out to be. I do not understand veganism, but hey whatever. Thank goodness they are Lutheran because if they were Roman Catholic I do not think they could go to communion 🙂 kidding of course!

    There is such a thing a vegan green bean casserole. I looked it up on the interwebs. YUK!
    http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2006/11/best-vegan-green-bean-casserole.html
    http://www.ehow.com/how_2143234_vegan-green-bean-casserole.html

  11. PPPadre,
    Schwans is grand, my Mum uses it all the time. If ya know how to cook bacon & use your microwave, I’ll give ya my super-secret recipe for great green beans.

    1 Steamer Package of Green Beans-Bird’sEye is the ones I use.
    3-4 strips of bacon, cooked & crumbled, save to drippings
    the french fried onion stuff

    -in the aisle at the grocery, by all the olive oils, there should be garlic dipping oil or roasted garlic oil. Pick up a bottle, great for just about everything. Bacon & garlic make everything taste better!

    Right, cook the bacon, then crumble it, leave the drippings in the fry pan. Nuke your green beans like the package says. When their done, throw them in the pan ya cooked the bacon in. Toss em around, use a tablespoon & add the garlic oil, throw the bacon back in. Toss again, toss it in a bowl, sprinkle the onions, & there ya go. Easy breezy, tastes ab fab, & it doesn’t better than that.

    And yes, you can bring them to potlucks….as long as you ask ahead if someone is bringing the GBC, otherwise, yours will be gone, & the GBC will be congealing next to your empty bowl. Potluck etiquette.

  12. Due to my dietary restrictions (low-carb), I avoid the cream of mushroom soup and make green bean almondine instead. I use fresh green beans and I use real butter. Flavor with a bit of lemon juice and sprinkle almond slices generously.

  13. Carol,
    I got my recipe out of a low carb cookbook! I don’t add the fried onion stuff, though I know people like them. I live in an estrogen challenged home, bacon is Atkins 1 friendly, & green beans are good to go, & the garlic oil is usually olive or grapeseed based. Major league good stuff. Nuts are off limits here (nut allergies) so , give this one a try.
    It’s good for stage 2 Atkins, South Beach, or low carb. I can only do 15 net carb, per meal, so this should be good for ya too. Besides, how much spinach can one human consume?

  14. Dutch–

    Cool. I’ll try it. I can only do about 20-30 net per day.

    Am experimenting with xanthan gum as an alternative to flour as a thickener. A little goes a loooong way, lest the gravy/sauce congeals. I will buy guar and other gums from the spice wholesale supplier and blend them to simulate a lowcarb thickener that is now out of production:

    http://www.expertfoods.com/package_notStarch.php

  15. “and we’re back with the Steadfast Lutherans Low Carb Cooking Show, with Carol & Dutch.”
    “Carol, we were talking gravy before the break weren’t we?”…..lol

    30 ng’s, Carol, you lucky duck. I’ve become an expert on the art of “reducing by half”.
    Looks like a great site, thanks for posting it. I think there are one or two others here who are on the “low carb” . Otherwise known as the meat, nuts & whatever is green diet.
    But better than the twigs, bark, & root diet, aka “high fiber”. lol

  16. I had green beans with a sprinkling of cranberries last night. Pretty!
    [“Marie Callendar” was on special; I’m indulging in frozen entrees till I get this cast off my arm. Not bad at all, but probably not “Atkins”.]

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