President Kieschnick’s Blue Ribbon Task Force Final Report
It’s . . . Monty Python’s Flying Task Force . . .
Man: I’d like to have an argument, please.
Receptionist: Certainly, sir. Do you want to have a thorough, well-reasoned argument with a free and open discussion of pros and cons and with all the input laid on the table, or were you thinking of just a propaganda piece with a bogus, one-sided “survey” full of loaded questions?
Man: Well, I think it’s probably best if we have a free and open discussion.
Receptionist: Fine. Mr. Ribbon will see you now.
Man goes into caucus room.
Man: Is this the right caucus for an argument?
Mr. Ribbon: Sorry, I’m not allowed to argue unless you’ve paid.
Man: But, but, we’re already paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for this, and now our congregation’s assessment is going up by 30%!
Mr. Ribbon: I’m very sorry, but I told you I’m not allowed to argue unless you’ve paid! Get out your checkbook! And, besides, nobody gets to see the input.
Man: Look, I’ve had enough of this!
Mr. Ribbon: No you haven’t!
Man storms out of room and goes down hall. . . .
Man: I want to complain!
Gets hit on head with large mallet.
Man: Ooh!
Mr. Synodocrat: No, no, no, hold your head like this, and then go “waaagh”! Try it again. . . .