“Oh, Blest the Homosexual” (by Pr. Charles Henrickson)

Before I get to the song, let me post my responses first. Pick the one that fits best:

A. Yes, I know I’m a sinner too.
B. Yes, I want homosexuals to repent and be saved.
C. Yes, I’m well aware of the problems in the Missouri Synod.
D. Yes, I know there’s a faithful remnant still in the ELCA.
E. No, I don’t buy the “We’re grieving now, don’t criticize us” line.
F. No, satirical polemics is perfectly biblical and Lutheran–indeed, it is called for in cases like this.

Now, to the song. . . .

Tune: Wo Gott zum Haus
(“Oh, Blest the House, Whate’er Befall” TLH 625/LSB 862)

Oh, blest the homosexual
Though we have nothing textual
To bless behavior God has cursed
We took a vote–it’s been reversed

Oh, blest the gal who takes a wife
As long as they stay gay for life
“Committed,” then you can be queer–
Until we change that too next year

Oh, check the box for blessing in:
Transgendered, bi, or lesbian
We’re working on the PETA-phile
So man and dog can walk the aisle

Oh, blast those other Lutherans
Who tell us that we’re loose on sins
There still is one we won’t abide
It’s when you make God’s Word our guide

Then hear the E.L.C.A. say
That it’s OK to ordain the gay
Though all the world forsake God’s Word
They can’t outdo us for absurd!


“Oh, Blest the Homosexual” (by Pr. Charles Henrickson) — 23 Comments

  1. So will you now send it to Vieker for inclusion in the “Contemporary Song Hymnal” that is being put together? The song book for those who don’t want liturgical worship but contemporary worship???

  2. Has this cleared the new hate speech investigation committee of thee FCC? Just kidding – it’s a comin!

  3. Brothers and sisters–

    My first post on this blog says, “Ouch!” Let me explain: I have to admit to some discomfort about this satire. No doubt, it is witty, clever and to the point, but I wonder if this is pastorally “speaking the truth in love.”
    As I have said in a previous post someplace on BSJ, the ELCA is smiling, the world is laughing, but we are weeping (or ought to be). They have committed a grievous wrong, having dumbed down what is clearly forbidden in Scripture, and are leading many of their people (and others) astray. I don’t think this builds any bridges to those in the ELCA who disagree with the Assembly’s decision. I also don’t wish to be reminded of the ELCA’s actions every time I hear that hymn tune. I’d rather not be a “wet blanket”, and perhaps I’m in the minority, but it makes me uncomfortable, statements “A” thru “F” notwithstanding.

  4. They have committed a grievous wrong, having dumbed down what is clearly forbidden in Scripture, and are leading many of their people (and others) astray.

    And therefore we ought to be heaping scorn and ridicule upon these deceivers, condemning them in the strongest terms. That is an entirely biblical and Lutheran thing to do. The ELCA is a disgrace to all four words in their title: “Evangelical,” “Lutheran,” “Church,” and “America.”

    “Those in the ELCA who disagree with the Assembly’s decision,” if they truly disagree with it and denounce it, will agree with the point of this song.

  5. Ah, this is the best kind of speaking the truth in love.

    Some in the ELCA know that these things are wrong. Their conscience is already wounded. They will cringe at these words, but nod their heads in sad agreement.

    Some are hardened in their Gospel reductionism. They will not be reached, and certainly will be offended. Let them be. If we are not offending the liberals, we are doing something wrong.

    But some may have enough conscience left that such words might remind them of the faith they were taught in their youth (presuming such was the case). To such people, humor may be the best way to get the foot in the door and prick their conscience.

    Very loving, Father Hendrickson.

  6. This is what we call painfully funny.
    As far as building bridges to the dispossessed of the ELCA: there’s a scriptural, confessional bridge that’s been open for centuries now, and it remains open. Some precisely-worded satire hardly blocks it.
    Indeed, I don’t think the good Pr. Henrickson is blocking anything that many Christians have managed to block all by themselves, with truth-twisting decrees and decisions. It might be the thing that exposes to them how far beyond scripture they’ve wandered and how far from Christ they’ve strayed, to the point of being without either.
    They’re already not listening to the truth, are they? Maybe they’ll hear a little satire.
    Well done, Pr. Henrickson, on both your recent hits.

  7. You know the song that says,’They would not listen, they’re not listening still. Perhaps they never will…’
    That line comes to mind somehow.
    As it so often does.

  8. #11 by Susan R,
    That’s from Don Mclean’s ode to Vincent Van Gogh. And, sadly,
    it seems–like the great painter–the E_CA is slowly committing suicide, theologically, that is!

  9. As (still) ELCA, and as I’ve commented before, this is fine by me and I’m sure most of “faithful remnant,” although some might not like the coopting of an old standard. There is a danger here though; as I stated after the “E.L.C.A.” satire, that LCNA/Goodsoil could easily adopt it as a song for one of their liturgies. Pr. Hendrickson may be unwittingly writing a new hymnal!

  10. Not to be a prude, this is wrong. Is having “satirical polemics is perfectly biblical and Lutheran–indeed” at the expense of others right? Do you really think Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is happy with this commentary? Right after I read it, Matthew 7 came to me…”Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

    Shouldn’t we act in Christian love? Out of approximate 5 million members in the elca, there are plenty that are hurting base off the blind and folly of a few. We should be praying how best we can respond.

    Respectfully submitted

  11. I see. Some Lutherans are having a bad day, so do not disturb. (that was covered by line E above)
    Maybe if we thought of this, not as a satirical parody, but as part of a sermon…that accusing part maybe.

  12. Do you really think Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is happy with this commentary?

    Yes, without a doubt.

    Right after I read it, Matthew 7 came to me…”Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

    Y’know, I think of that very same passage every time I see someone condemn one of Pr. Henrickson’s parodies.


  13. Before I get to my song, let me post my responses first. Pick one or all—macht’s nicht.

    1. ”Lord, be merciful to me, the sinner.”
    2. I pray that ELCA and LCMS alike repent.
    3. You bet the LCMS has plenty of problems, rooted in our inherent sinfulness
    4. I’m grateful for the faithful remnant in the LCMS, and especially here on BJS
    5. I don’t buy the line, “We’re hurting, so leave us alone.”
    6. I do buy the line, “Come to me, you who labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”
    7. Satire has its place, and is an adiaphoron, but I’m not convinced that it’s called for in this case.
    8. On the other hand, I’ll give it a try.
    9. The ELCA has been prodigal in its wasteful abandonment of its treasure of God’s Means of Grace, and has fled to a far country. We pray that it will come to its senses in the pigsty of its apostasy. We believe that our leaders and others have plainly spoken the truth in love. We pray for the ELCA’s return, and we encourage its remnant to remain faithful, perhaps within the welcoming arms of the LCMS.

    And now the song—hardly a “contemporary” tune or a toe-tapper: perhaps theologically flawed, rhythmically deficient, poetically challenged, and satirically incompetent. It’s not intended to escalate the rhetoric, but to present an alternative perspective. Follow the bouncing ball…

    Same tune as before.

    Oh, bless the satirist today,
    And let’s all bash E-L-C-A
    Whose shepherds led them far astray:
    Their pastor’s gay? “Well, that’s OK.”

    L-C-M-S has got it “right”—
    We use satire—we see the light.
    Our brother’s beam we view with fright;
    Our ingrown tree betrays our sight.

    We don’t “reach out”, we give ‘em hell.
    Some of them hurt, we know full well—
    “So what?” we say, “See how they fell!
    “Our satire’s sure their sins to tell.”

    “It’s truth in love,” we all protest—
    “We know satire will do it best.
    And soon their sins will be confess’d.
    L-C-M-S means Sabbath Rest!”

    Souls wounded in E-L-C-A;
    We pray a remnant finds their way
    To our fair shores, where “truth” holds sway.
    Or will satire turn them away?

    “Harassed and helpless sheep are we
    Our shepherds teach us heresy.
    Missouri speaks satiric’ly—
    If they persist, where shall we flee?”

    Lord, Jesus, hear our pray’r today
    Forgive the sins of all, we pray:
    ALL beggars we, Your grace our stay.

  14. Well, it’s been quite a controversy – may Missouri Synod Lutherans use satire (words, songs, cartoons) against apostate action by those who pervert Christianity?

    Some say “Yes” (among those being Martin Luther and Lucas Cranach). Some say “No” (perhaps some in these featured regalia.

    Now, based on this latest opinion, it seems the “satire coast is clear” sign has been raised: “I am, frankly, sick to my stomach watching some of the ham-fisted, rude, obnoxious, boorish reactions to the ELCA decisions appearing on Lutheran blog sites and discussion groups, including ridicule and mockery in the form of songs.”

    So let’s satire away… just as long as our satire, mockery and ridicule is good, sharp, hard-hitting and hilarious, not ham-fisted, rude, obnoxious, or boorish.

    PMMV (Pietistic mileage may vary)

  15. In his 2002 article, “Three Score and Ten Years”, the Rev. Dr. Carl Heinrich Schmutzler comments on the history of the E_CA that led to the ordination of women and now to practicing homosexuals:

    “[A]s a direct result of the Big Bang [Seminex] American Lutheranism was blessed with a new synod, now of fairly impressive size, the AELC, former Missourians of a liberal bent in combination with Romish liturgics suddenly finding themselves in a denomination of their own, but not really enjoying themselves too much. Once the glory of that exodus had faded they did not really know what to do with themselves. It appears that from the outset the program of their leadership was to overcome their own rather peculiar situation by being the agent bringing together the LCA and the ALC into a new, very much American and not at least really big denomination with a determinedly social agenda: the eventual result was the ELCA of today… One should perhaps recall that ‘Lutheran’ in Evangelical Lutheran Church in America managed to squeeze in there just barely by majority vote; I seem to recall that ‘Evangelical Catholic’ was a strongly favored alternative….

    “[I]n due order I had to seek membership in the ELCA when I desired to accept the call to Old Zion Lutheran Church. This was in late 1988, and I was far from enthusiastic, as I well knew what to expect of the ELCA, theologically speaking. However, I made what you might call a rational and reasonable assumption, namely that the new church body would be busy settling down, organizing itse1f, creating coordination and harmony, and generally giving its members time to adjust to the new situation and adopt unity of purpose and outlook.

    “I figured it might take at least ten years to achieve this, and only then one would begin moving into the directions the tracks of which clearly had been laid at inception. Nice thinking from my part, but as Swedes are wont to note, ‘It is difficult to prophesy, especially concerning the future’; in retrospect I understand how much I underestimated the sheer determination of those that are driving the ELCA. The plain fact is that they started their radical program right in 1988, and have been pursuing it ever since with great skill, pitch and moment… It is quite fascinating to study how carefully and with real long-range vision and determination the agreement with the Episcopalians was pursued, likely beginning already before the ELCA was a concept. When ‘presidents’ were turned into ‘bishops’, in the LCA as well as in the ALC and the AELC, the course leading into today’s situation in fact was decided: this is not a new insight, however, there were already at that time sharp-eyed observers that understood and protested the consequences of what was labeled ‘just a change of designation’. Horse feathers: but the majority bought it, and still does.”

    Dr. Schmutzler also had some historical comments about the Missouri Synod:

    “[The Brief Statement of the Doctrinal Position of the Missouri Synod (1932) (the date is souce of the article’s title)] is the work and testament of a dying man who feared what might lie ahead for his beloved synod, Franz Pieper, Missouri Synod doctrinal theologian par excellence. He had noticed those little discreet indicators that seemed to tell him something might be on its way going awry, and you better stem the beginnings, or else. I do not know what exactly it was that originally triggered the warning signals in his mind, but there was for instance that little liturgical society St Stephen (or whatever it was called), that already during the 1920s began toying with that mediaeval plunder and mumbo-jumbo that forever seems to fascinate certain of my colleagues. It was, of course they would assure us, crossing their hearts, all and ab-so-lu-te-ly within proper confessional bounds, blah, blah, blah, and maybe they even believed what they were saying, but as Prof. Olson certainly will agree: it is in the field of liturgics that the keen-eyed observer will spy the first tell-tale signs that something is going on in the area of doctrine and teaching.”

    The Rev. Dr. Carl Heinrich A. Schmutzler retired in 2006 as pastor at Old Zion Lutheran Church in Philidelphia, PA, and now serving on the Joint Council of The Augsburg Lutheran Churches (ALC) of Lutheran Congregations in Mission for Christ (LCMC). For a number of years he posted on the old LTHRN-L listgroup site.

  16. We’re Just a Church That Can’t Say No
    (from the Broadway Musical: Oklahoma)

    We’re just a church that can’t say no
    We’re in a terrible fix
    We always say, “Come on, let’s go”
    Just when we aughta say nix.

    When a sinner wants to stay in sin
    We know we aughta give em words of Law
    But as soon as they cry “Victomhood”
    We always, somehow, sorta hem and haw

    We like the homosexual
    Long as they’re prissy and quaint
    We’ll call a sinner a saint
    How can they be what they ain’t
    We can’t say no!

    What ya gonna do when Satan talks flirty, and starts to talk purty?
    What ya gonna do?
    Sposin that he says that the Bible’s exclusive, but Christ is inclusive,
    What ya gonna do?
    Sposin that he says that you better let em in,
    Cause if they’re not in, they’ll cry?
    What ya gonna do when he talks that way,
    Spit in his eye?

    We’re just a church that can’t say no
    Reason and Sentiment Rule
    And if you don’t agree with us
    God’s Word we’ll twist as a tool

    Other people say we’re het’rodox
    But orthodox ain’t having any fun!
    We will wear ‘em down with all our talks
    And then we’ll vote our conscience til we’ve won

    Many may disapprove of us,
    But we know-our God is best.
    We put His Grace to the Test!
    Won’t you all join, be our guest?
    We can’t say no!

  17. So glad I checked back in, Hank. Better even than the original lyric.
    ‘What ya gonna do when Satan talks flirty…’
    Best ever.
    I’m in awe.

  18. Monogamous, Same-Gender Luth’ran Church
    (sung to the tune of Fidelity Fiduciary Bank, from the musical Mary Poppins)

    If you donate your tuppence
    Wisely to the church
    Safe and sound
    Soon that tuppence
    Safe within the ELCA
    Will compound

    And you’ll achieve a sense of justice
    As your piety expands
    When Higgens Road and its directors
    Give in – to special int’rest groups’ demands

    You see, members, you’ll be part of
    Dissing the church in Africa
    (They’re homophobes, you know!)
    Two millenia of Christendom’s
    Theology must to go!
    Millions given for bogus studies
    Toward a pre-determined goal!
    . . .Ordination for non-celibate gays!

    All from tuppence, prudently
    Fruitfully, frugally donated
    to the, to be specific,
    to the publicly accountable,
    life-long, monogamous,
    same-gender Luth’ran Church

    Now, members,
    When you give tuppence to the elca-church
    Soon you’ll see
    Leftist causes successfully promoted
    At church-wide assemblies.
    And you’ll achieve that sense of stature
    As your arrogance expands
    To the high ecclesial strata
    That our elca-church commands

    You can buy our health insurance
    That’ll cover abortions!
    Ageism! Feminism! Racism! Sexism!
    It’s Victomhood that sells!

    All manner of social activism!
    Anti-War! Pro-Choice!
    Global Warming! End of Life!
    Stewardship to
    Secularize the Church!

    You see, members,
    Tuppence, patiently, cautiously trustingly donated
    To the, to be specific,
    To the publicly accountable
    Life-long, monogamous,
    Same-gender Luth’ran Church

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